A few years ago I ran a silent retreat. Only a few brave souls joined me. I say brave because most of us have never really lived in silence. I know I was nervous. I wondered if I could really be silent for 48 hours!
We live our lives plugged in to the needs of our family, friends, community, career, obligations, etc. The list is endless. With all the technology we use to make our lives easier and simpler to stay in touch, we have less and less time to simply be by ourselves or in the quiet of our thoughts.
During the weekend of silence, I realized how little time I created to listen to my inner thoughts, my feelings and my own internal wisdom. In the silence, my mind and body began to relax. There was a freedom to follow thoughts which would pop up in my head and analyze them if I needed to or just to let them go.
In the silence I found freedom to see my life as I am living it today and to figure out if this is how I want to live it. Most importantly what emerged for me was the pure joy of being connected to my inner wisdom and having the space, time and quiet to have my inner wisdom emerge and inform me.
I am no longer afraid to be in silence. Now my challenge is to build in silence in my daily life, where I have time to stop and breath deeply, to relax my body and mind and to listen to my inner wisdom.
Do you have time to be quiet in your daily life, to listen to your inner wisdom, to just breathe?
A client asked me the other day what is the most powerful process I use to create the life I want. I immediately answered, “setting my intentions”. I know whole books have been written, but I have 3 easy steps to setting your intention. These steps should take under a couple of minutes. 1. Every morning when I go into my shower I spend a moment thinking about my day. Who am I going to meet and what will I be doing. 2. Once I have a clear picture of my day in my mind, I think about how I want to “be” during the day. I usually strive for calm, focused and centered. 3. Next I look at what outcomes I want to occur from my meetings and finally I send loving energy to all the people I meet. You can do this by thinking about the person and imaging warm light or love going from your heart to theirs.
That’s it! Simple right? Not many people take the opportunity to create their desired experiences for the day. Try it out and see what changes for you as you go through your day.
We all have the ability to manifest the life we want. There are three things we must do when manifesting this life.
1. Get clear on what you desire
2. Imagine this way of life in great detail. Picture yourself waking up in the morning and living your desired life. Put in all the detail you can. Make the new life feel as real as possible.
3. Create affirmations to bring this new life in. An affirmation is a statement that you say to reprogram your mind to think in a new thought pattern. Such as, I deserve to have…..
Seven Steps to Overcoming Negative and Limiting Beliefs
Do you have great ideas, but find it hard to speak up in meetings? Or maybe you procrastinate and can’t get tasks done on deadline? For every common mental block we face in the workplace, there’s a root cause. Generally, it comes from some negative belief about yourself that you picked up way back in your past, such as Speak when you’re spoken to or Aiming too high leads to disappointment.
Here are seven ways to transform those negative beliefs so you can be more successful at work—and overcome personal obstacles that hold you back from advancing in your career.
Step 1. Think about three or four negative phrases you heard all throughout your childhood and came to believe. Example: You should keep your ideas to yourself.
Step 2. From these, identify one main belief that you immediately recognize as getting in the way of your particular goal, such as speaking your mind in front of older coworkers. Example: Children should be seen, not heard.
Step 3. Ask yourself: How might this belief be limiting me or standing in the way of my career performance, fulfillment, and advancement?
Step 4. Next, take that belief and turn it around to its opposite. Example: My ideas are fresh, new, interesting, and worthwhile.
Step 5. Now, expand Step 4 to a list of three or four more statements. Using the example above, the list might be: I was hired because they want and need a new and younger perspective. Part of my job description is to be an active contributor. The workplace needs young employees like me who want to learn, develop, and grow in the company. The best way for me to learn is to speak up and even make mistakes.
Step 6. Finally, as vividly as possible, imagine a scene at work that’s a direct reflection of your working and behaving in this new way, backed by this positive set of beliefs you’ve created. Pay attention to the feelings and emotions this imagined scene evokes in you.
Step 7. The next time you’re in a situation at work and find your path blocked by the obstacle, try to conjure up the positive feelings from Step 6, and the positive beliefs from Steps 4 and 5. You’re likely to discover that you don’t feel challenged or blocked anymore, or at least not to the same degree
I took the summer off from my healing practice to spend time with my children and with myself. We spent the summer away from our primary home, friends and routines. I love summer. I love the idea of stepping away from everything and being at choice to create whatever we want for the moment, day or week.
We created a new community away from our primary community. In this community I saw my children have the opportunity to establish and be however they wanted to be. I found myself having flexibility in choosing who I talked with and how much time I spent talking with others. Some days I found I really craved conversation and interaction and other days, in the quiet of the day I found I was very content to keep conversation to a minimal and sit with my thoughts. I loved the way our days unfolded. We had very little structure and most of the time, we just let opportunities come to us during the day. I loved these summer days with the lack of structure and the permission I gave myself to be free of schedules, commitments and obligations.
I am now back into the routine of the fall and I am finding I still crave the quiet, the lack of schedule and the ability to let the day unfold. However, an interesting phenomena has happened. In the summer I gave myself permission to follow my natural rhythm. In the fall, I am finding I am labeling my natural rhythm as being lazy, or wasting time.
I have just begun to notice how I give myself permission in the summer to have all this space and time to let the day unfold. In the fall, I am so scheduled with things to get accomplished and activities to do. I find it funny when I desire to just sit with my thoughts, I call this lazy. How can I give myself permission to slow down and just be. Do I really need to go on a summer’s sojourn to enjoy quiet moments to seek a rhythm of the day which isn’t about accomplishments but about being?
What do you give yourself permission for during your sojourns? How can you bring them into your life consistently?
Men’s midlife crisis is a known phenomenon and well documented. How about a women’s mid-life crisis. Yes, women go through menopause, but I am not talking about a biological change in the body, I am talking about an emotional change.
The difference between men and women’s mid-life crisis as I see it is men’s is a more outward journey and women tend to be on a more inward journey. Women in their forties are really finding themselves, loving themselves and letting go of what women should do or be” beliefs that are so predominant in our society.
Most women in their thirties spend time striving for perfection, to be successful, accepted, understood, supported. They may think about how they are going to manage everything, to fit in, to keep up with everything, or to be better at things. When women hit their forties they begin to feel for themselves their own power. They begin to let go of what they should be like or should be doing to be successful and they move more to what they want to do and how they want to be. I call this the beginning of the inner journey… when you are ready to let go of your shoulds and move to your wants.
By the way, this journey can happen at anytime in your life, it really begins when you look at how you are spending your life and you decide for yourself, it is time to change. Time to change to a more rewarding and fulfilling way of being in your life for you.
Are you having your mid-life crisis… I sure hope so. Moving from a reality of living your life the way others think you should live it to living your life in a way where you feel fulfilled is a powerful journey.
I recently attended a family barbecue and I was talking with my 25-year-old niece. She was telling me about her confusion on next steps as it related to her career. A comment that really struck me was the one where she said I have all this ambition and I’m not sure where to focus it.
As I sat there listening to her, I was catapulted back to a time when I was in my 20’s. I was working in a high technology company and enjoying what I was doing. It seemed every 18 months I was offered new positions. I made my choice to take the new jobs not on a long-range plan or a goal but primarily on what seemed to be interesting and challenging to me. I have since discovered, through my long and winding career, that life unfolds and almost in spite of ourselves, most of the time we land exactly where we need to be if we go with the flow of life and opportunities. I often look back and reflect on how so many of my earlier experiences in corporate life really prepared me for what I am doing now. And I look at those early experiences and think about how I used my spiritual gifts in the jobs I had, not consciously, but because the job required me to have a knowing beyond my conscious knowledge.
Spirit works with us in so many ways to help us connect and experience our soulful and purpose filled journeys.
What I learned….. is not to stress, look for opportunities to present themselves and in the meantime, do what you love. There are no really bad choices, some will get us to our spiritual destination faster than others. However, with spirit guiding us and our intentions clear on what we would like to experience in life, the journey is the fun – enjoy it. The destination…well who knows where we will end up!